Sunday, November 29, 2009

Double Life: Part 2 - Kruezer at Night

  Eventually, it became too much to repetitively turn and look the other way. For instance, his admittance to being a prostitute four (4) times in the same month we got married. Maybe it was the fact that he was actively looking to do porn work even after he told me he wanted to and had stopped. Jeff did a porn film in mid July with the help of  Damon Kruezer and Sebastian Rio, who filmed and produced the video. This was months after he claimed to be completely done with that "lifestyle". It was to be called "Boys Alone" though I have no idea if it was ever released by Sebastian Rio Productions.

  I first had contact with Kent Barclay (AKA Damon Kruezer) in or around May of this year. I saw a letter similar to the one here that was addressed to Jeff, from Damon Kruezer.  I told Kent to stay the hell away from both of us because based on what little I knew of him, I could see that this guy was bad news! He attempts to wreck people's lives for his own amusement or gain. Of course Kent saw my warning as a challenge and started his attempt to drive a wedge between Jeff and I. He made up stories about what Jeff was doing to try to upset and confuse me, though now, I know what Jeff was doing... and Kent had no clue what he was talking about as usual! He too just wanted as much attention as he could get. Even if it meant incriminating himself...

  Damon Kruezer is a sick and demented man who belongs in a mental institution! This is the same man who stole $11,400 from a man using his long time scam of his fake new porn movie. He tried to suck in Jeff but all he was able to do while Jeff and I were together was use his picture so Kent could lure in victims! They both live in a world most of us never see. One made up entirely in their own mind... pretty fucking freaky if you ask me! If Jeff isn't careful, he will end up old, obese and alone usually living with his mother, just like Damon Kruezer!  Is Kent Barclay, Jeff's long lost father? The world may never know... Kent tried like hell with Jeff though. He was pretending to be a "hot" security guard in Boston to suck Jeff into his stalking arms early this year. The man never shows his face. He hides because he's afraid the world will see what he has truly become which is a far cry from the picture he tries to paint of himself to others!  He is really just a sad old troll, yet still dangerous as hell! He preys on people when they are in a weakened state just like a snake... and I hate snakes too!
 

  As you could see in that letter, Damon Kruezer was still actively searching for porn work for Jeff. Eventually, he ran into so dumb luck and Jeff met Sebastian Rio in late June through Kent's Myspace page. So Kent thought he could take some credit where little was due really. Kent had been away that Jeff was HIV positive yet they were still striving to get Jeff work in bareback porn.  Should I be surprised that Jeff didn't tell his scene partners? Kent wrote this on his own page after I made this known, back-pedaling from yet another crime he has committed and something that could have had the potential to be a pretty big scandal. I didn't want this to get out of hand. I think I lost that particular battle.. Oh, I'm "Rusty Wilson" of course (thanks for the name Elm).

  Everything I knew (or thought I knew) was all a lie! The entire relationship, friendship, marriage, it was a farce! I constantly caught him spinning his elaborate web of lies, infidelity, and larceny from me and others. This spanned the entire time we were together and from what I have seen, It goes back at least two years! Which ironically is the same time Jeff and Kent had been in contact with each other, mostly by writing letters from what I know.You know two (2) people are shady, when they are both using a P.O. Box as their primary mailing address!

  Maybe the breaking point was when he wrote a check from an account I had that was closed. Jeff then deposited the check he knew was bad, into my active account. The banks consider this check fraud and closed my account. Of course the final deciding factor of the closure was an "empty envelope" deposit into my account by Jeff on the same day! So much to choose from!! Which one do I pick??


  I don't feel like it's too much to ask that my "Partner" be OPEN AND HONEST about either of those issues. Hell... in general, open communication and honesty are vital in any relationship! Let's not forget that a sociopath is not capable of such things! Jeff prefers an "exciting" lie in an attempt to have the best of all worlds humanly possible rather than tell me the truth about his lifestyle and hope I accept it. It sounds far fetched, but maybe even make an honest effort to change it himself! He told me he wanted to stop for both of us... only to make a couple porn videos that maybe ten people have seen, then Jet Set around the country as a blue collar prostitute for peanuts... literally! Not to mention his involvement with other men attempting to pillage anything he can from them! All this behind my back... or so he thought. It's not so much the actual acts of what he was doing that really bothered me, rather that he made this elaborate chain of lies to cover up his "TruLife".

  So now like a "Tru" Sociopath, he is blaming me for something I had NO control over... WTF?! Jeff has been referred to multiple times by different people as a sociopath. From what I know of the definition of that word, it seems to be the most accurate description that could possibly suite him, both of them! I found this... and it describes him so well, it gives me goosebumps to even read it!
Here's an excerpt about sociopaths from:   http://www.mcafee.cc/Bin/sb.html

Profile of a Sociopath
  • Glibness and Superficial Charm
  • Manipulative and Conning
    They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors as permissible. They appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing their victim as merely an instrument to be used. They may dominate and humiliate their victims.
  • Grandiose Sense of Self
    Feels entitled to certain things as "their right."
  • Pathological Lying
    Has no problem lying coolly and easily and it is almost impossible for them to be truthful on a consistent basis. Can create, and get caught up in, a complex belief about their own powers and abilities. Extremely convincing and even able to pass lie detector tests.
  • Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt
    A deep seated rage, which is split off and repressed, is at their core. Does not see others around them as people, but only as targets and opportunities. Instead of friends, they have victims and accomplices who end up as victims. The end always justifies the means and they let nothing stand in their way.
  • Shallow Emotions
    When they show what seems to be warmth, joy, love and compassion it is more feigned than experienced and serves an ulterior motive. Outraged by insignificant matters, yet remaining unmoved and cold by what would upset a normal person. Since they are not genuine, neither are their promises.
  • Incapacity for Love
  • Need for Stimulation
    Living on the edge. Verbal outbursts and physical punishments are normal. Promiscuity and gambling are common.
  • Callousness/Lack of Empathy
    Unable to empathize with the pain of their victims, having only contempt for others' feelings of distress and readily taking advantage of them.
  • Poor Behavioral Controls/Impulsive Nature
    Rage and abuse, alternating with small expressions of love and approval produce an addictive cycle for abuser and abused, as well as creating hopelessness in the victim. Believe they are all-powerful, all-knowing, entitled to every wish, no sense of personal boundaries, no concern for their impact on others.
  • Early Behavior Problems/Juvenile Delinquency
    Usually has a history of behavioral and academic difficulties, yet "gets by" by conning others. Problems in making and keeping friends; aberrant behaviors such as cruelty to people or animals, stealing, etc.
  • Irresponsibility/Unreliability
    Not concerned about wrecking others' lives and dreams. Oblivious or indifferent to the devastation they cause. Does not accept blame themselves, but blames others, even for acts they obviously committed.
  • Promiscuous Sexual Behavior/Infidelity
    Promiscuity, child sexual abuse, rape and sexual acting out of all sorts.
  • Lack of Realistic Life Plan/Parasitic Lifestyle Tends to move around a lot or makes all encompassing promises for the future, poor work ethic but exploits others effectively.
  • Criminal or Entrepreneurial Versatility Changes their image as needed to avoid prosecution. Also Changes life story readily.
(The above traits are based on the psychopathy checklists of H. Cleckley and R. Hare.)

  It's uncanny just how dead on that site explains him! Jeff, who I now call "lil Kent" (referring to Kent Barclay AKA Damon Kruezer) due to the fact that every single bullet point on there tells you exactly who both of these people are with amazing precision! In finding that page, I also found solace in the fact that other people have experienced these types of people, and at least a small group of us understand just how... unpredictable they are. Never try to think like a sociopath! An attempt to do so is an attempt in futility, and perhaps insanity!
 
  Here is where it all starts to get really fucked up!! When your Domestic Partner says hes in Disneyland, and he says he just bought you a ring from Tiffany Co. Everything would seem to be fine right?! Then he gets another phone call! I'm told he will call me back when hes done with the other call. He calls me back within fifteen minutes or so, with news that he's been kicked out of his mother's house and he blames me for it! I ask why its my fault, he says he doesn't know but I MUST have told her something... turns out she found a needle in his room. Jeffy has been shooting up?! Due to his past drug use, and history of CONSTANT LIES, I had no reason to believe otherwise.

  The last contact he and I had before Jeff ran off to Chicago was that of him telling me that he plans to run off to Boston, IF he didn't kill himself. Yeah, I had reason for concern! Jeff threatens me with talks of suicide during the course of this conversation! It was obviously a desperate attempt to get my attention and a sure bet that I will react in some way to it! Boston had been a place where he claimed at one point in time to have friends. Ironically it's also the home of the Grand Scamming Con-Artist himself, Damon Kruezer. This man would be VERY dangerous to Jeff or ANYONE in his path for that matter! I that knew Jeff talked to Damon (Kent Barclay) consistently for over two years! Sadly, the two people are rapidly becoming the same one in the same! I had caught him cutting himself once early in the year when we had a little fight, again for attention must be the motivation for this! I had a reason to believe he could possibly be a danger to himself others!

  Four (4) days pass and I hadn't heard a single word from him. His friends as well his mother all said the entire time they have not heard from him at all! For Jeff to not be on any of his social networking sites, the entire four (4) days, that's an eternity to Jeff.  It's a HUGE red flag for someone that craves the attention and never goes more than one (1) day without some form of social networking, let alone 4 solid days of no contact. I saw no signs whatsoever that he was okay. He had totally dropped off the map and I'm supposed to do and say nothing?! For all I knew, he could have been dead... So I did what any decent human being with a shred of human compassion would do...
 
"I spent a little time on the mountain, I spent a little time on the hill
Things went down we don't understand, but I think in time we will
Now I don't know, but I been told it's hard to run with the weight of gold,
Other hand I've heard it said, it's just as hard with the weight of lead. 
One way or another, this darkness got to give."

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